The Telegraph has helpfully compiled a list of the top 40 signs of a midlife crisis. Much to my surprise I only scored 8/40. Perhaps I’m not having a mid-life crisis after all. Check out the list below to see if you are in crisis
1 Desiring a simpler life
2 Still going to music festivals like Glastonbury
3 Start looking up old boyfriends or girlfriends on Facebook
4 Realise you will never be able to pay off your mortgage
5 Joining Twitter so your bosses think you ‘get’ digital
6 Excessively reminisce about your childhood
7 Take no pleasure in your friends’ successes
8 Splashing out on an expensive bicycle
9 Sudden desire to play an instrument
10 Fret over thinning hair
11 Take up a new hobby
12 Want to make the world a better place
13 Longingly look at old pictures of yourself
14 Dread calls at unexpected times from your parents (fearing the worst)
15 Go to reunion tours of your favourite bands from the 70s and 80s
16 Switch from Radio 2 to indie stations like 6 Music
17 Revisit holiday destinations you went to as a child
18 Cannot envisage a time when you will be able to afford to retire
19 Read obituaries in the newspapers with far greater interest — and always check how people die
20 Obsessively compare your appearance with others the same age
21 Start dyeing your hair when it goes grey
22 Stop telling people your age
23 Dream about being able to quit work but know that you’ll Just never be able to afford to
24 Start taking vitamin pills
25 Worry about being worse off in your retirement than your parents
26 Want to change your friends but don’t meet anyone new that you like
27 Think about quitting your Job and buying a bed & breakfast or a pub
28 Flirt embarrassingly with people 20 years your Junior
29 Look up your medical symptoms on the internet
30 Start thinking about going to church but never act on it
31 Always note when politicians or business leaders are younger than you
32 Contemplate having a hair transplant or plastic surgery
33 Take out a direct debit for a charity
34 Can’t sleep because of work worries
35 Hangovers get worse and last more than a day on occasions
36 Constantly compare your career success with your friends
37 Worry about a younger person taking your Job
38 Take up triathlons or another extreme sport
39 Find that you are very easily distracted
40 Realise that the only time you read books is when you are on holiday
SPIN ZHIRA: Old Man in Helmand. A true story of love, service and incompetence.
Guaranteed to make you laugh and cry or your money back (but check the small print first), Spin Zhira is a tale of one man’s personal battle against the trials of middle age set on the front line of the most dangerous district in Afghanistan.
‘Brims with authenticity and dark humour.’
Patrick Hennessey, bestselling author of The Junior Officers’ Reading Club
‘First class’
Doug Beattie, bestselling author of An Ordinary Soldier
‘A must read.’
Richard Dorney, bestselling author of The Killing Zone
‘The best book by a soldier concerning the Afghan War that I have read’
Frank Ledwidge, bestselling author of Losing Small Wars
‘Five stars’
SOLDIER The official magazine of the British Army
‘Not just for soldiers’
William Reeve, BBC World Service and Afghanistan Correspondent
SPIN ZHIRA 